Being Kind in a World of Retaliation

11/03/2024

“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else.”
— 1 Thessalonians 5:15 (NIV)

In today’s world, the concept of “getting even” or seeking revenge is widely accepted. We see it in movies, in our workplaces, and sometimes even within our own relationships. The mentality that “they hurt me, so I’ll hurt them back” can be instinctual, as retaliation can feel like it brings closure or justice. But God’s Word calls us to a different standard—a higher way of living that reflects His heart.

The Apostle Paul wrote this verse to the Thessalonian church as part of a list of final instructions on how to live in a way that honors God. This short instruction, “do not pay back wrong for wrong,” is simple to understand but challenging to apply. Yet it’s also incredibly freeing. When we choose not to retaliate, we remove ourselves from the cycle of bitterness and instead allow God to handle the outcomes. We don’t have to “win” the argument or “even the score” because we trust that God sees, knows, and will bring justice in His time.

Imagine you’re at work, and a coworker takes credit for something you did. The temptation might be to respond with passive aggression or to try and expose them. But responding with grace instead, maybe by complimenting their hard work in front of others, can be more impactful. You don’t have to praise something they didn’t do, but by acknowledging the positive contributions they make, you’re showing kindness that speaks louder than anger.

Or think about an argument with a close friend or your spouse. They may have said something hurtful, and your first instinct is to “get back” at them, whether by saying something cutting or by giving them the cold shoulder. Instead, reaching out to ask how they’re doing or offering to meet for coffee can disarm the conflict and pave the way for reconciliation.

Here are a few practical ways you can implement this strategy into your life.

Pause Before Reacting

This is one of the hardest for me. In a situation where someone wrongs you, take a moment to breathe before responding. Ask God to help you respond from a place of peace and kindness.

Do Good, Even When It’s Hard

Find a way to do something kind for the person who has wronged you. It could be as simple as praying for them, helping them with a project, or even just speaking positively about them to others.

Reflect on Christ’s Example

Jesus exemplified this command on the cross. When He was mocked, beaten, and crucified, He did not retaliate. Instead, He prayed, “Father, forgive them” (Luke 23:34). Let His example inspire you to rise above bitterness and reflect His love.

Today, look for an opportunity to show kindness to someone who has wronged you or who may not deserve it. Watch how this small act of grace impacts them, and how it transforms your heart, too.

Lord, help me to release any desire to retaliate or “get even” with others. Give me the strength to respond with kindness, even when it’s difficult. Let my actions be a reflection of Your love and grace so that others may see You through me. Amen.

Pastor Jeff

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